Best....Bacon....Ever

If you've never been to New Jersey, then you likely envision some stereotypically negative scenes at the mere mention of said state - hypodermic needles littering the shore, corrupt politicians, big hair, bad drivers, and Snooki.  My wife and I visited our friends Mike, Michelle, and Milo in Princeton, NJ, several weeks ago, and thankfully we got to experience a side of Jersey that few really know exists -- wildlife, picturesque farmland, colonial history, and bacon.  Delicious, succulent, out-of-this-world bacon. 

Michelle snagged some honey-maple bacon at Smoker's Deli, a vendor at a Pennsylvania Dutch farmer's market in Princeton (they were either Amish or Mennonite -- either way, they had no trouble plugging the cash register in and making it sing, so they're pretty progressive) and cooked it up for breakfast. Now, Mike & Michelle had raved about this bacon, to the point that my expectations were so high that they couldn't possibly be met....or could they? 

First of all, this bacon was thick and meaty, as any good breakfast meat should be.  If you have bacon that's tissue-paper thin, what little goodness that's there will melt away as grease.  When this happens, all you've done is dirtied a pan and insulted your tastebuds.  On presentation alone, this bacon had already scored higher marks than what I'd give most restaurant bacon.  Next, it was time to dine on swine.  Five hundred miles I'd flown, so this better be good.

The bite started out with a slight saltiness.  It was just enough to remind me that I'd have to heed Larry King's advice to pop a tablet of Garlique later in the day.  BUT the sweetness that followed was more than unique -- it was incredible.  Each bite was better than the last.  It was a carnival of sweet-salty flavor blanketed by a tent of deliciousness.  Truly perfection.  This was seriously the best bacon ever.  My mind draws a blank when I try to think of the right adjective(s) for this, the most awesome breakfast meat that I have ever eaten.  The tag team of sweet and salty had never been so perfectly in sync as it was at the table that morning.  The "ooh"-ing and "aah"-ing over this bacon rang like a chorus that was equal parts religious, sexual, and psychedelic, and it was the only true testament to a taste that can't be summed up in writing.  It's a shame it didn't last longer.  There was no self control, and soon, there was no bacon. 

Needless to say, the trip was worth it - if not for the company of old friends, then definitely for that bacon.  It bums me out, though, that this deliciousness is found so far north.  North Carolina has a person-to-pig ratio of 1.03 to 1! We can't get enough pork down here -- as country ham, barbeque (chopped, pulled and whole hog), sausage, chops, and the list goes on. But do we really know the pig like we think we do?! Not if we can't crack this elusive, top-secret, Princeton, New Jersey Pennsylvania-Dutch honey-maple bacon recipe. Even if it's terribly complicated, we've got plenty of pigs to spare for trial and error, so let's get on the ball.  Or it could it be that it's so painfully simple and right under our noses.  Those damn yankees have never been more maddening.